Friday, October 9, 2009

Peace Out

I woke up this morning to the surprising news that President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Naturally, I was stunned, but in a good way.

My immediate response was, “Already? This is like awarding the Best Picture Oscar immediately after a nice opening credits montage.”

From what I can gather, the prize was awarded for the sole reason that Obama is not George W. Bush. In other words, the President doesn’t confuse “hubris” with “humility”, even though they both start with “h”.


Today’s post is brought to you by the letter



I wonder if you get a trophy when you win the Nobel Peace Prize, like you do when you win the Super Bowl or Stanly Cup. There ought to be one that President Obama can keep on his desk, like producers and directors do when they win an Oscar. The trophy should be right there in the Oval Office, as if to say to all visitors, “Well what the hell have YOU done lately… Beeyoch?
“Wait until you see how big MINE’S gonna be!”

Predictably, the Republicans
registered their disagreement about 15 seconds after the announcement was made. It won’t be too much longer before Fox News sends a band of tea-baggers to Norway, in protest. Although in all probability, they’re more likely to settle for making fake reservations on Norwegian Cruise Liners.

What cracks me up is how they keep claiming that Obama hasn’t accomplished anything yet, as if it was irrelevant to regain the respect of the world that his predecessor had so cavalierly pissed away.
In an official statement, the Republican National Committee said: "The real question Americans are asking is, 'What has President Obama actually accomplished?' It is unfortunate that the president's star power has outshined tireless advocates who have made real achievements working towards peace and human rights. One thing is certain -- President Obama won't be receiving any awards from Americans for job creation, fiscal responsibility or backing up rhetoric with concrete action."

What the RNC didn’t say, but could have, was that the President would have many more concrete actions at this point if it wasn’t for those very Republicans blocking every effort to accomplish…well… anything. You can’t hold the ball and clog up the works and then complain that nothing gets done. Not with any shred of decency, anyway. But that’s been missing from the Republicans for longer than they’ve been cheating on their wives with pages, teenagers, hookers, anonymous guys in airport restrooms, staff member’s wives and Argentinean soul mates.

Another Win for The ‘Burgh
Speaking of the Stanley Cup, another news story making the rounds this week has to do with the Sporting News naming Pittsburgh the
Best Sports Town in America. I’m not going to go into all the reasons for said decision, but obviously I agree. But you should see all the comments that invariably follow these articles about it… all the complaints from people from Boston, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Detroit and every place else that isn’t Pittsburgh. Ginny at That’s Church had a dynamite rebuttal to those clowns on Wednesday. (You can find yours truly lodging Comment #36) I guaran-damn-tee you that none of those whiners have ever actually been to Pittsburgh, or else they might have a clue how stupid they sound. Look, all I need is one stat… ahem…

It said in the Post Gazette today that for the first 4 weeks of the season, the Steelers games have averaged a 48 rating in Pittsburgh, and a 70 share. That means out of all households with a TV in Pittsburgh, 48% of them were tuned to the game. And of all households with a TV that was turned on, 70% were watching the game.

That’s incredible. No other market can smell those kinds of numbers. If you add that to the 2 straight years of Pens sell-outs, the 30-some odd years of Steelers sell-outs, the ubiquity of local sports apparel when you walk about town and all the other rampant sports mania, you get another number. Number One, baby.
Lastly, I received a link to this in an email from my dad and it just cracked me right the hell up. This is the reason that Pittsburgh is the Number One City, period… sports or not.

7 comments:

  1. Ah, your blog made me smile :) What else can I say, except for I agree with everything you just said. Plus that Dahntahn Song is super made me nearly pee my pants. Thanks for the laugh!

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  2. Thanks, Carly!
    Regarding the Dahntahn song, I think Pittsburghers are just naturally funny.
    Would a similar song in the New York, Chicago or Boston dialect be nearly as funny? No way...
    But let a Picksburgher run free and it's just funny.

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  3. Now our Nobel Obama needs a song to go with his prize. How about a take on Dr. Doolittle's "Talk to the Animals" like "Talk to the Taliban/Talk to the Taliban,lalala..."
    Love the trophy idea, for ALL Nobel winners. How many jobs would that create?!!
    Is this a fantastic weekend or what! Prizes for our President and Pittsburgh! One anticipatory, the other long overdue. And It's Bo's Birthday!!!

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  4. Yo Bluz Dude,
    We re-posted last week's list of guest writers, but also took your advice and added you to the list. Nice storytelling!!
    Thanks!

    THE GUYS

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  5. Thanks GUYS!
    I shall do my best to prove myself worthy.

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  6. OMG you are hillarious. That song...my face hurts from laughing so hard!!!

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  7. Glad to see you came back to catch up! Carly was onto it last week! She peed her pants; your face hurts. Looks like my work here is done...

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